Posted by Jimeny on February 23, 1999 at 09:10:16:
In Reply to: Are 9's always seeking harmony? posted by Monica on February 22, 1999 at 17:48:23:
> I have my best friend whose strategy is definitively strategy 9. At least that's how it is with everybody, familu, friends, colleagues etc.
> But with her boyfriend (very likely a 4) it looks as she's looking for the eternal conflict.
> Can something like this happen? Can you have your basic strategy that it keeps you safe with everybody but with one person? Or maybe we don't always use it?
> Can anybody explain this weird attitude.. (I have to admit that even if she looks for conflict, she still doesn't know what she really wants, her basic needs are something that she just can't see)
Well 9's and 5's are shy, withdrawn folks much of the time, so when they are experiencing the
comfort and safety of a close relationship, anger and repressed feelings are allowed to come
out. The nine moves to 3 and the 5 to 8. THis can come as a suprise to the focus of such
unexpected feelings and is often the reason a 5 or 9 is labeled coward for (un)intentionally
hurting those they are close to instead of confronting the real problem or person at work, school,
etc.