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Pep talk from a shy guy
Pep talk from a shy guy
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Posted by Brian C. on February 23, 1999 at 22:17:02:
In Reply to: Help a Four! posted by Aurora on February 23, 1999 at 09:44:01:
A long time ago I participated in an 'overcoming shyness' program
while I was studying at a major university. Phillip Zimbardo conducted
the program. He has written a few books on the subject. I have also
taken a 'refresher' course conducted by a local counsellor. In my opinion,
some social 'graces' can be learned and mastered very much like the
West Coast Swing or Imperial. Reading about it helps, but one needs
partners and actual practice. For the most part this is a desenitization
process (getting used to it.) Some 'experts' refer to shyness as social
phobia and further break it down to categories like public speaking,
eating in public, using rest rooms, being partially clad, etc.etc. So you are not alone and progress can be made in a supportive environment
with other shy, but interesting people. Books: Social Phobia by John Marshall, M.D.
Dying of Embarassment by Markway,Carmin,Pollard and Flynn
Beyond Shyness by Jonathon Berent, A.C.S.W. Final note. I was once told by a school counsellor that based on my
Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MNMPI) that 98%
of the population was more extroverted than I. Sounded about
right. At that point I was a grad student. Had been a class
president in H.S. Managed a large office for a nationally known
company, married. Accepting my nature and working with it seemed
to eventually decrease the sweaty handed-ness. In truth, I still
love my solitude and have known extroverts who wanted to develop
tolerance for 'loneliness.' Pick an area where you can succeed
like a hobby, craft, sport, instrument, church and take baby steps
on the edge of your comfort zone. Progress, not perfection.
Good luck. (avoid anti-anxioletic drugs if you can; you can always
find some one to prescribe them later if behavioral approaches do
not work.)
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