Posted by Derf on February 11, 1998 at 06:02:45:
In Reply to: Am I 4 or 7?!!! posted by Bibi on February 10, 1998 at 20:55:41:
How funny... in the first phase of my Enneagram studies, I thought I was "Four with a Seven wing" (I was pretty sure that Four dominated, but other than that little detail, I was pretty much where you are). But now, I realize that I don't *really* have much Seven at all, though I can still *seem* like one on the surface - in certain isolated circumstances.
If you have a local library, you might want to dig into *more* books, since each book, it seems, gives only a part of the story. In my experience, Fours and Sevens seem to have at least as many differences as similarities - if not more. If you're new to the Enneagram system, then they might seem alike. It simply takes in-depth study to grasp the real differences between the types, because the Enneagram is an in-depth system. Sooner or later, almost every aspect of people's characters will start to fit into your picture of the system, and Fours and Sevens will be like black and white (frankly, I think they are, though some people might have different perceptions). If the Enneagram were a simple parlor game, then I would have been able to tell the types apart immediately, without constant study over a long period of time. But, gradually, I discovered that was not the case. For better or worse, the Enneagram cannot be grasped in a short time like a parlor game. If you're relatively new to the Enneagram, then you can test the system on yourself and the people in your life - and greatly enjoy the process. Some of the Enneagram's spiritual lessons (eg., we must accept that other people's views and feelings about life are different from our own) can be immediately grasped. However, if you want to learn the deeper implications of how someone's personal "essence" applies to an Enneagram style (including your own), you'll have to keep the faith. Eventually, you'll develop a kind of "sixth sense" about it.
Take, for instance, the case of a good friend of mine, whom I had known many years when I started to study the Enneagram: first, I thought he must be an Eight. Then, a Four. Then, a One (this is over the course of several months!). I had read "Personality Types," too, but I did not have much real-life *experience* in knowing people by the measure of this system. Finally, I had him take a test, and by then, I had narrowed my mental possibilities down to Six and Seven. He was revealed as a Six (he enthusiastically agreed), and only some time after THAT did I fully understand the implications of his character as they fit the type Six personality, and I realized that his (heavy) wing was Five, not Seven. Now, it's as clear as day to me, and I wonder how I ever could have thought otherwise (he's a FLAMING Six, indeed - one ought to be able to guess within minutes of meeting him!). Similarly, it took me almost a year to discover that I had a heavy Three wing (I'm a Four) - I used to think that type Three didn't apply to me at all.
That's just the learning process - I guess you have to get so familiar with the types, their "sense" penetrates your mind to the highest levels of your intuition. But learning about the types is not a hard toil that only eventually pays off in the end - every step is fascinating, and broadens your perception of humanity.
Anyway, if you want to, tell me a little about yourself that you feel might help (your philosophy of life, the way you feel in everyday situations, the way you feel about certain people in your life in whatever circumstances, the way you feel about yourself in general, what you would like to contribute to the world or to the special people in your life - anything, really), and I'll see if I can help, and maybe others here will have viewpoints, too. Talk to you later. -Derf