Posted by Bibi on February 11, 1998 at 13:17:32:
In Reply to: Re: Am I 4 or 7?!!! posted by Derf on February 11, 1998 at 06:02:45:
Hi Derf - thank you for your reply! You are probably right; I need a lot more time, and reading different books, in order to understand more of this.
I was first introduced to the enneagram in November '97, and I first tested as a 7. I got the book shortly after and LOVED reading about the 7; I had a few good laughs as I recognized myself both in the healthy and in the unhealthy qualities of a 7. (not so much in the average)
The person that introduced me to the ennegaram has studied it for several years, and he was very surprised to see my high score on the 7, as he had expected me to be a 4. I did, however, score pertty high on the 4 too, even if my 7 and 8 were the higer numbers.
I later took the test again, and I think I managed to be more honest with myself that time, I scored as a 4 with a 5 wing, but my 7 was still only a few numbers lower than 4!
Anyway - to maybe give you (and others that might be interested) an insight in my 4ness and 7ness, I'll try to explain what I recognize in those two so different types. (I would say that 4 and 7 is quite the opposite of oneanother, but still I have a lot of them both - no wonder I'm frustrated! *s*)
I think I am 4 because I am a romantic artist. My life would be worthless if it hadn't been for my (unrealistic) daydreams. I am very sensitive and intuitive, and what I 'feel' is more important than anything. I am constantly feeling and thinking about my feelings, and the 5 in me goes on thinking about my thoughts about my feelings...*s* I would say I am self-revealing, personal and emotional.
I often get self-absorbed, introverted and moody; melancholy and depressed. I always felt different from others, and I have also prided myself to BE different and seeking the uncommon. In the extremes, I withdraw from people, I become self-destructive and suicidal. I have also abused alcohol and drugs to escape, but got that part under control now.
Besides, I always think I'm missing out on something better...(envy)
Reason why I think I am a 7 is that I am basically content, even happy, and I am often very optimistic. I can be very appreciative and grateful, even awed by all the wonders of life - the beauty of it all. I am enthusiastic but get easily bored, I need to sense, to experience! I am multi-talented, on a superficial level. I need to be happy, to amuse myself (and others), and I know I often do this to escape anxiety.
I can be manic and manipulative, insensitive about other's needs to get what 'I' want. When my unhealthy 7 is at it's worst, my "dictator-leader-8"-wing is activated too. (not a pretty sight....)
I like being an enthusiastic 7; positive, optimistic, easy going and fun-loving. But there is a lot "more" to me than that, and this I find in the 4.
I am NOT as people-loving as one would expect a 7 to be, I need lonelyness and I don't easily identify with others. I'm simply too unique! *grin*
People who doesn't know me too well, would probably think I am a typical 7, as I seldom socialice when I'm not in my "happy 7-ness".
So, did this make any sense at all? See what I'm striving with here? I feel scitzo at times, and my defence is to withdraw. (like a 4 would do, instead of the hyper go!go!go! I used to do, like a 7 would)
Is it possible for a person to change personality/type? Could it be that I have been a 7 most of my life, but tend to lean more over to the 4 now as an adult? (I didn't consider myself an adult until just recently...2-3 years ago maybe)
I guess I have to admit that I have a pretty cynical view on other people, I tend to think I'm so much better than everybody else, and that if I need something done I better do it myself to get it done proporly.
The only people that I admire, is people with insight and drive to develope as individuals. If they have artistic skills on top, they have my devotion!
In my work (I'm in graphic design) I am NOT too hung up in details, but I want it done MY way as 'I' know so much better than anyone else...I know this is not a very likable side of me, and I wish I could trust people more. I was never good at working in a group.
6 is by far my lowest number on the test. Needless to say I am self-employed...Even if I won't trust anyone to do my job, I am seldom satisfied with my work as I always think I could have done it much better.
I'm impatient. To people, to myself, to my work, to my studies. I want results instantly!
I am not concerned about "what people might say", and I usually do things my way, choosing the enjoyable over the useful.
I used to like to show off, make sure everybody saw how unique and special I was, but I don't really care about that anymore.
I don't belive in principals. My "moral standards" is not strict, and I don't condemn people if they lead their life differently from mine. I might not admire them if their values are very different from my own, and I loathe shallowness or people that jump to conclutions too easily. (Maybe because I tend to do so myself?)
I'm a messy person, never know where I put my things, but at ther same time I'm practical and productive.
I tend to pretend I care more than I really do. I am afraid to be seen as a selfish person, but I am.
What I would like to contribute to the world? Nothing, I guess! *s* If anything it would be the enneagram....I see a great need for more insight among people in general, and I think the enneagram could contribute to a lot if more people knew about it and how to use it!
As to what I would like to contribute to people in my life, it would be the same; help them to gain more insight in themselves and others. When I'm in my social mood, I like to serve friends a good meal and I like making gifts (to show how talented I am?). More often I prefer the company of animals to human, and I'm more at home in the nature than in a city.
Does this make you any wiser? Feel free to ask if there is anything else you'd like to know. I hope you can understand my somewhat insufficiant English!
Thanks again for your reply - I appreciated to hear what you had to say!
The enneagram is about to change my life, and I'm so glad I now have a "tool" to help me gain more insight in myself and others. I have had some friends and relatives do the test, and my guess has been correct more than half of the time, so I'm slowly gettin' there...
I know this is a lifelong study, as life itself is one, but I'm confident that the enneagram will never loose my interest, curiousity and eagerness to learn more!
Looking forward to hearing from you again! -Bibi