Posted by Andy on July 30, 1999 at 19:48:28:
Well I am, and very mutch so. I also corrospond greatly to the avoidant
personality disorder (avoiding the big test, that I could find out I am not
the great person I must be, so I live in the dream that I am good instead), and I am narcistic,
and manic, and antisocial............But I guess that are not the problem areas.
It is beeing extremely self aware that destroys it for me.
To the point.......It's like that because of self aware....avoidant....
More drugs and alcohol.....less self aware...to none....no longer avoidant..
Every time I get past my selfawareness I am probably drunk, and then I always
want to perform, (I do that always, but the blushing aspect destroys that)
But while drunk I will not blush so easy, not be so self aware, and actually
I would say that it's like I can do more and more of what I want when I am
drunk or dreaming, because then there are no self aware ....... present.
I also would like to say this: I feel never so alone as I do when I am with a lot of other
people ! That's when I feel most alone, not all people of course, but most.
People Respond !!
Andy - not a four...