Posted by Ronnie on July 31, 1999 at 06:42:23:
In Reply to: Self aware ? yes it's my nr.1 problem that destroys my life . posted by Andy on July 30, 1999 at 19:48:28:
Dear Andy,
have you ever thought you'd like to think about the reason why you're self-aware? Getting drunk or using drugs doesn't really help you, only suspend the problem. Drinking doesn't solve your problems, it just changes them for worse.
It sounds like you expect people to judge you and find out you're not as good as you are. Am I correct here?
It's my assumption (just based on one message, please do correct me if I'm wrong) that you'd like to be a cool, outgoing, self-assured [add your own here] person the successful others seem to be. However, you find out, all the time that you actually are avoidant because of the self-awareness and can't keep that "cool performer" image because of your blushing. Your own body betraying you, showing you your reality again. It all must feel like living in hell to you, the amount of pain and bitterness must be incredible. I'm always ready to talk about it, if you'd feel like talking more about it. I'm not asking you, just want to let you know that I'm always ready to listen.
Take care,
Ronnie
ps. My email is ronniesmith@my-deja.com