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Re: Self aware ? yes it's my nr.1 problem that destroys my life .

Re: Self aware ? yes it's my nr.1 problem that destroys my life .

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Posted by Brian C. on July 31, 1999 at 11:33:31:

In Reply to: Re: Self aware ? yes it's my nr.1 problem that destroys my life . posted by Ronnie on July 31, 1999 at 06:42:23:

Hi Andy, Your message reminds me of my younger son (23,) except that
alcohol is not involved. The escapism really complicates life. I once
read that "reality" is what's left after you lose everything else. Some
people call that "rock bottom." Drugs are deadly and unforgiving, but
very compelling. Many people die enroute to the bottom. That may even be
part of the excitement.

My son seems balanced when he has a relationship with a supportive friend.
Martial arts really helps him (Black belt candidate) because it is hard work
that he enjoys. His Dojo mentor is an excellent role model. His drum kit
is a source of solace. Writing poetry, drawing expresses the inner pain
and yearning. Work and fun help.

Unfortunately, all his close friends are drug addicts. They all get along
and understand eachother. One bad weekend and someone finds a hit, then
everyone is crazy again.

There is a BBS for recovering addicts, that is limited to non-professionals,
i.e., only users and recovering users. They understand, support and challenge
one another. I do not have the http handy, but a search for drugs, heroin,
cocain, etc. will find such a group.

You have friends here. I think the Enneagram is excellent once you begin
a recovery program and support group. Insight alone will not solve your
difficulries, IMO. Learning to be a best friend to yourself will ease the
lonely, self conscious aspect. The part of you that takes care of the rest
of you needs reinforcement (observer self, Ego-dystonic, ego-alien, etc.)
There is no shame in having a problem. You are already expressing a desire
to heal; learning how is the challenge. The result will be increasing awareness
of acceptance of your self amongst others. I think flesh and blood friends
are the next step to work on. Start with De-tox. Build from there. Expect
backslides. Remember the acceptance and encouragement your 'becca buddies
share with you. Sometimes a big hug can make all the difference when life
seems darkest. Good luck and please get started.

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> Hi Andy, Your message reminds me of my younger son (23,) except that > alcohol is not involved. The escapism really complicates life. I once > read that "reality" is what's left after you lose everything else. Some > people call that "rock bottom." Drugs are deadly and unforgiving, but > very compelling. Many people die enroute to the bottom. That may even be > part of the excitement. > My son seems balanced when he has a relationship with a supportive friend. > Martial arts really helps him (Black belt candidate) because it is hard work > that he enjoys. His Dojo mentor is an excellent role model. His drum kit > is a source of solace. Writing poetry, drawing expresses the inner pain > and yearning. Work and fun help. > Unfortunately, all his close friends are drug addicts. They all get along > and understand eachother. One bad weekend and someone finds a hit, then > everyone is crazy again. > There is a BBS for recovering addicts, that is limited to non-professionals, > i.e., only users and recovering users. They understand, support and challenge > one another. I do not have the http handy, but a search for drugs, heroin, > cocain, etc. will find such a group. > You have friends here. I think the Enneagram is excellent once you begin > a recovery program and support group. Insight alone will not solve your > difficulries, IMO. Learning to be a best friend to yourself will ease the > lonely, self conscious aspect. The part of you that takes care of the rest > of you needs reinforcement (observer self, Ego-dystonic, ego-alien, etc.) > There is no shame in having a problem. You are already expressing a desire > to heal; learning how is the challenge. The result will be increasing awareness > of acceptance of your self amongst others. I think flesh and blood friends > are the next step to work on. Start with De-tox. Build from there. Expect > backslides. Remember the acceptance and encouragement your 'becca buddies > share with you. Sometimes a big hug can make all the difference when life > seems darkest. Good luck and please get started.

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