Re: A two talks about it all, to Bev

Posted by bev on August 01, 1999 at 17:11:45:

In Reply to: Re: A two talks about it all, to Bev posted by Ronnie on August 01, 1999 at 16:47:38:

>hey Ronnie

i agree with you... intuitively i think things need to be talked about...and yes i did attempt this...particularly with my boss because i worked most closely with him...and because i really care for him and respect him...but i did attempt to talk with him... his response was that he thought i was angry at him which explained why he was avoiding me whenever he could...however, again i feel the discussion was fruitless because in the end i think he was angry with me and did not acknowledge this...if i use my understanding of the e-gram,i think his 3 wing began to compete with me for the attention of the men and he had difficulty acknowledging this to me...i think it is hard for a two to be angry at people due to their fear it will bring on rejection...he is also a practicing Catholic which i think complicates his ability to express negative thoughts or feelings about others...afterall being raised Catholic myself, although at the age of 12 i decided religion was hypocritical, i know that it is a sin to not be kind and caring towards others...expressing anger is not kind and caring

when i told him that i was confused and felt unnerved about his comment to me that maybe i needed a change, particularly as he said it angryly and pointed his finger at me, his response implied that i was mistaken and read the situation wrong...which i know i didn't...anyway i suppose it is water under the bridge now...i just need to bare this in mind, try not to take responsibility for what is not mine...and trust my intuition more...and keep plodding along

it is sometimes hard for me to express my feelings or problems with others, particularly at work because i feel like i'm being critical and/or whining...

thank you for the feedback Ronnie, it is always helpful to talk with someone, even if it is on a webboard, because you are so removed from the people involved, more objective...thanks again...

it is interesting to read the feedback, i was kind of taken back by the responses of people, particularly those that follow ...i certainly didn't mean to type-bash or to create a scenario where this could occur...

PS what is LMHO? and *s*

Hi Bev,

> the situation really sounds a complex one. Again it's really difficult to start saying anything in depth on a webboard, but it could just be your two collagues just don't know how to deal with their feelings and have chosen to deny their own distress. You told they attribute feelings you don't have, haven't openly admitted being stressed, it could be just their stress reaction.

> Have you considered bringing this unacknowledged thing into open discussion? I mean just telling that you need to talk things through AND it's ok if they need too. Again, not knowing them it's impossible to *really* tell, but I'm positive they do have something on their minds that should be talked over. (considering your line of work) Reminding them that you should be open and supportive of each others' weaknessess to be able to help others. I think you know best if that could work.

> Ronnie

> PS. I think PseudoName's comment was to Ed.

Follow Ups:

• Re: A two talks about it all, to Bev Ronnie 03:57:21 8/02/99 (2)
  • Re: A two talks about it all, to Bev bev 15:49:35 8/02/99 (1)
    • Re: A two talks about it all, to Bev Ronnie 04:38:47 8/03/99 (0)

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