Posted by Ronnie on August 02, 1999 at 03:57:21:
In Reply to: Re: A two talks about it all, to Bev posted by bev on August 01, 1999 at 17:11:45:
Bev,
for a two anger is difficult because it a) exposes you to a possible rejection b) makes you realize all the denied needs and makes it difficult to see yourself as "good". Your boss's feeling probably is jealousy, very difficult for a "needless" two to handle. Projecting his feelings onto you is just a defence, escaping the demands of his superego. The religion makes it even more difficult.
I think what would we be needed here is acceptance of those seemingly negative emotions. You've tried already and it didn't work. How about taking another point of view to all this? After all, he wants to be good and caring and what he is doing now is the opposite. What would happen if you made a point that the way he is behaving now is very uncaring and unempathic? That being open with *all* of his feelings actually is caring and considerate? I'm rather sure he's aware (at least unconsciously) of what's going on, but it's just very hard for him to admit it. If you could prove to him that being totally open, no matter how difficult it is, actually is the right and better thing to do, it would be easier for him to do it.
Keep in mind that as you have a strong 4 influence in you, you probably disintegrate towards two under stress. Therefore, talking about your problems feels difficult to you too. Be aware of the fact you might be much more reasonable and constructive than the others in the situation.
Yes, talking with an "outsider" gives you some fresh air to the situation...and it's often easier.
It's not LMHO, IMHO (capital I)=In My Honest (Humble) Opinion. *S*= :) (Smile)
Ronnie